Humiliating Times
by Bralt
Summary: Tales of times not told. Embarrassing times that is.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its characters**

Humiliating Times

Prologue:

Crowley walked into the cabin and found Will and Gilan sitting at the table with coffee. They seemed to be discussing something funny. He walked over and took a seat to Will's right and took the coffee that he was offered.

"So what are you two up to today? Where's Halt?" Crowley looked at Will who was Halt's apprentice.

"Gil just came for a visit so we were just going to goof around. Halt said he was tired of our company so he went to town to pick up some food and coffee." Will looked at Crowley smiling.

"And what are you discussing that seems to be entertaining?" Crowley smiled back at Will. He liked him. Will seemed to make those around him happier.

"I was just telling Will of all the embarrassing things I ever saw Halt do." Gilan smiled as he answered.

"Well go on! I would love to hear these stories! And when you're done, I'll tell you a few things." Crowley got settled in his chair and took a big sip of his coffee as Gilan cleared his throat.

"We'll start with the time he was shooting arrows and Pauline came to watch." Gilan also settled back into his chair and Will leaned forward with a grin on his face.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its characters**

**I think this turned out okayish. My next chapter will for sure be better. Remember to review.**

Halt stood shooting his arrows at the trunk of a nearby tree. Gilan sat watching with mild interest. He was supposed to be studying the quickness and accuracy that Halt was demonstrating but he was too wrapped up in thinking about anything else.

"Now you try." Halt walked over to the log Gilan was sitting on and sat.

"Okay," Gilan said uneasily. He hadn't been watching and he was about to prove it.

He walked over to the place where Halt had stood shooting and hesitantly raised his bow; this was going to end badly. He could feel it in his bones. He drew back the arrow and Halt immediately yelled at him to stop.

"Did you even watch what I just showed you?" Halt looked mad.

"Honestly no. it was a little boring." Gilan smiled as Halt motioned for him to watch once again.

Halt took his stance and started to explain once again. "Make sure you're sturdy and aren't shaking or anything. Draw back the string and touch your forefinger to your lip. Not your thumb. That will make the…" Halt turned to Gilan who was staring off at the path to the castle. "Honestly Gilan! Do you ever pay attention?" Halt turned to face the path and he felt his heart start pounding. Pauline was walking towards them.

"Gilan! Watch me!" Halt turned back to the target. "Like I was saying, touch your forefinger to the corner of your mouth. Not your thumb…" Halt turned as he realized that Gilan still wasn't watching or listening. "Gilan!" Halt snarled.

"It would be rude not to great Pauline, Halt. I hate being rude." Gilan smiled as Halt lowered his bow.

"It's Lady Pauline to you. Show some respect." Halt thwacked his apprentice on the back of the head mostly because he'd been waiting to do that since the morning.

They stood waiting for Pauline to approach. She came and stopped in front of them. Gilan waved and Halt stood there with a smile starting to play across his mouth under his cowl. He swore his heart was going to explode.

"Good morning Halt. Good morning Gilan." Pauline nodded to each in turn.

"What brings you here this day?" Gilan asked. Halt glared at him. Gilan was so impatient.

"Oh I just wanted to see how your training was coming along." She waved a hand as if it were nothing. "It's a nice summer day out and I figured that I might as well spend my free time outside."

"Well I was just showing Gilan how to shoot and actually hit what you're aiming at, so if we could get back to that I might not count this day as a total waste of time." Halt turned back to the target and waited for Gilan and Pauline to take their seats before he started again. "Like I was saying, touch your forefinger to the corner of your mouth. If you use your thumb, the shot will go wide." Halt looked over at Gilan to make sure he was paying attention. He was surprised to see that Pauline was also listening.

"Why does it go wide?" She questioned. Halt almost collapsed. Her voice sounded amazing.

"Because to touch your thumb to your mouth, you have to turn it slightly and that will twist the string also. Let me show you what happens when it's done properly." Halt smiled under his cowl.

He took up his stance and aimed his bow. He went to release but was interrupted as Gilan started laughing. "What now?" Halt said irritated.

"If you'd stop thinking about Pauline maybe you'd realize you didn't get an arrow!" Gilan continued to laugh and Pauline joined in. Halt's face was noticeably red under the shadows of his hood.

He started over making sure that he had an arrow knocked. He glanced over at Gilan to make sure he was watching and caught sight of Pauline. He couldn't take his eyes off her as she watched him. His fingers slipped and he let the string go. The arrow flew about ten feet off target and yelped as he felt a burning sensation on his arm. A really bad burning sensation. He dropped the bow and held his arm. It was as red as a tomato.

"Oh my gosh, Halt! Are you okay?" Pauline stood and rushed over to him. He didn't try to wave her off but when Gilan came, he made sure to keep him away.

"It's just bow slap. Hurts like the devil but it will go away." Halt grimaced.

"Well it wouldn't have happened if you weren't so rude and stared," Gilan said quietly in his ear. Halt shoved him away.

"Let's get you to the cabin. There must be something we can do." Pauline had worry etched on her face.

"It's nothing. Really. If it's happened once, it's happened a gazillion times." Halt refused to be babied. No matter who it was that babied him.

"It looks really red. We should at least put some ice on it. Now come on." Pauline put her arm around Halt's shoulders and started walking him towards the house.

This was too much for him. Her touch was so sweet and her voice was calm and loving as she helped him to the cabin. His heart started pumping fast enough to outrun Abelard. He passed out.

* * *

><p>Gilan finished telling his story and joined in the laughter of the other two. They were laughing for around five minutes before Crowley recovered and sat up straight taking deep breaths.<p>

"That is pretty funny but not as funny as the first time he ever met Pauline." They all got comfortable while Crowley cleared his throat.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its characters**

**I don't think this story turned out to well but I'll let you be the judge of that. Maybe I can at least get you to smile.**

Halt and Crowley walked across the drawbridge and into the courtyard of Castle Redmont. It was a nice fall day and the air smelled of burning leaves. The two young friends were walking towards the main tower to consult with the baron when a young girl tripped in front of them. Halt hurried forward to help her.

She had light blond hair and beautiful eyes. She was dressed in a courier's outfit and looked to be about the same age as Halt. He gave her a hand and she accepted as he helped her up.

"Thank you. I've been clumsy lately. You're the first person to actually help me up." She smiled sweetly at him and he felt his heart skip a beat. Crowley walked up beside him.

"This is Pauline. I don't believe you two have met." Crowley smiled, he could see Halt liked her.

"Hi. What's your name?" Pauline looked at Halt and he felt his head go fuzzy.

"My…name?" Halt said dully.

"Yes your name." Pauline laughed. She thought he was kidding. Crowley started smiling.

"My name. Umm… H…Halt. That's it." He smiled weakly then glared at a sniggering Crowley.

"I haven't seen you before. Where do you come from?" Pauline brushed the hair out of her face to reveal angel like looks.

"I…I come from…umm…I come from Hibernia." Halt nodded. His mind was still fuzzy.

"I hear it's not very good over there. Why did you come here?" Pauline bent down and picked up the book she had dropped during her fall.

"I came because of family matters." Halt's voice grew steely and Pauline decided to drop the subject.

"Are you staying long?"

"Am I staying long?" Halt questioned himself. "Umm…I'm staying long I think." He considered. "I think I'll stay." He was yelling at himself inside. _Why are you acting stupid?_ He berated himself.

"That's nice. So what are you doing today?"

"We have a meeting with Arald. We have to see if he'll allow the Ranger's to reform and post somebody here," Crowley said. "We really must be off now."

"I have to leave to. See you around Halt." She waved and walked away. He stood there paralyzed.

"Come on Mr. Smooth." Crowley started to push Halt forward. "Very nice job by the way. You only stuttered every time." Crowley started laughing and Halt turned around and slapped him on the side of the head.

"Shut it." Halt walked away but tripped and ended up face first on the stones. He glared back as Crowley started laughing again.

The three Rangers started laughing again as Crowley finished his story.

"So Halt can face the Kalkara and he can terrify almost everybody he meets, but he couldn't talk to Pauline?" Gilan said through fits of laughter. Crowley started nodding.

"And somebody swore he would never mention it." A snarl came from the now open cabin door.

They all turned to face the door and stopped laughing. Halt was standing there looking very unhappy. Crowley swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat. This wasn't good. Halt had made it clear that if Crowley told, he would personally punish him.

"You're coming with me." Halt grabbed Crowley by the collar and started pulling him out the door with Gilan and Will following.

He got to the horse stables behind the cabin and sent Crowley sprawling across the dirty, poop ridden floor. Gilan and Will started laughing as they saw Crowley's face drive through a pile of unpleasant looking brown lumps. Halt turned around and pushed them both onto the muddy ground where they sat laughing at the look on Crowley's face as he stood and started spitting out brown.

Halt walked back to the cabin and left them there. They snapped back to reality as they all heard the door lock click into place.

Crowley was the first to get to the door and start pounding. "Come on Halt! Where are we supposed to sleep tonight?" The light was fading from the sky.

"I believe there are some very nice pine trees around. Why don't you try one of them?" Halt called from inside.

"In these clothes?" Crowley yelled. "Their covered in horse feces!" Gilan and Will exchanged glances then started laughing again.

"That was the point Crowley!" Halt called back. "I recommend you climb the tree yourself in a minute or so unless you want me to boot you up it!"

Crowley turned away and started marching towards the tree line with Gilan and Will following. They only laughed harder when and already agitated Crowley slipped and fell into a giant mud puddle. He muttered some choice words then started climbing. Soaking wet and smelly.

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